Dating Someone

You're dating and your religious beliefs are different. How much difference does this make' The answer is: Another person's religious beliefs are important to you to the degree they're important to you. This may sound like begging the question, but it's an important thing to 'get'. Assuming you're looking for marriage, you need to make a 'must have' and 'can't stand' list. If certain religious beliefs go into either group, pay attention to them, because you won't be happy if they aren't there (or are and shouldn't be) and the relationship won't work in the long run. Begging the question is what Zen koans are all about; those maddening 'answers' that the 'master' gives when the novice asks a question. He seems to answer all around something without coming out and saying it. Why is this important' Because the master is also teaching the novice how to think and how to answer his own questions.

The master answers so that the learner understands they're either asking a question no one knows the answer to (like 'Will this man make good children'), or it's a question you don't need an answer to in order to get on with your life (like, 'Will this man go bald when he gets old''), or that you know the answer as well as anyone else, you just don't know it by reason (which is limited) and you can't accept that (like, 'Are we compatible''), or that only you can answer (like, 'Is this the right man for me''). In the case of religious beliefs, the emotionally intelligent thing to do is to figure out what you want (work with a coach for clarity; it's worth it) and then experience the person. It's important to formulate you spiritual 'must haves' and 'can't stands' in the correct way.

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Do you mean adherence to a certain set of principals as espoused by a certain faith, such as being Methodist, or Buddhist' Do you need someone to agree with every word you say about it' Or do you want the person to believe in certain spiritual principals which could be compatible with various faiths' Does it matter to you more how the person argues their faith verbally in their head, or how they live it in their daily actions and behaviors' Some people live in a way that's very compatible with certain faiths, though they may not officially belong to any religious organization. Some religions require only faith; others require certain actions.
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Generally speaking, you can bend on almost anything except a character or personality trait, and you can even bend on a personality trait if there's enough good in the relationship. For instance, more than one client I've worked with has found out that the 'boring' man they were considering turned out to have the sort of stable, consistent personality traits that made for a good life partner, and that a pretty face is just another pretty face. Look beneath the surface and have a list that allows for what really counts.